And make sure you frame the discussion properly by talking about the added value you bring to the relationship. Remind them about the tax savings they've enjoyed from your advice about exploiting income splitting and tax deferal strategies, the estate planning advice you gave them by reviewing their Wills, the insurance needs analysis you did that saved them premium dollars or ensured they had proper coverage, interest savings on debt, etc., etc., etc.

If they have a past ocurance of you coaching them to stay the course when they wanted to bail out of their investments, needed help with selecting company benefits, a buyout or pension transfer, put a number to that too. 

Tell them how much a lawyer or accountant would have charged them per hour for the advice and how you provided the help as part of your service to them. While you're at it, let them know if they have less than $500K those "holier-than-you" fee based/only advisors won't take them on as clients because they're not profitable enough.

Jim, if you're losing 50% to the dealer you're either a small producer or working through a bank in which case you're getting a lot of your overhead paid for. Your options are to get bigger and / or dump the bank. Dealers do provide an important function. If you don't think so, see what it would cost you to provide all the back office processes on your own. That plus compliance… I don't think it's even posible anymore to go it alone. And if you look at an independant dealer's financials, you'd se that whatever their take of the grid is, the profit margin is pretty slim.